I have tinnitus. I’ve had it for quite a while now, so long in fact that I can’t remember exactly when it started. It’s not painful, and not really a ‘ringing’ in my ears, so much as a fairly constant whine. I’m not even sure I could say it’s a sound, more like a presence that I mostly notice when things are quiet, like now. The only other things I can hear are the computer’s CPU humming and occasional vehicles passing the house. Now and then a hammer hitting wood from the home construction project next door, and just now one of the neighborhood dogs announcing something or other.

Bird song.

At times I am anxious about it, but I’m also finding it very interesting. If I really pay attention to it, I notice that the sound (or presence) changes, sort of cycling in a weird way, almost tumbling over itself. I pay attention to it at night, in bed, and it helps me to fall asleep. Listening to music can be a challenge, as the whine exists alongside of, or in front of (so to speak) the music, and I find that I can move my attention back and forth between the music and the whine. Loud sound will overpower it completely.
Reading about the condition, I’ve learned that it’s very common, especially with older folks, and…

“Tinnitus can be perceived in one or both ears or in the head. It is usually described as a ringing noise, but in some patients it takes the form of a high pitched whining, electric, buzzing, hissing, screaming, humming, tinging or whistling sound, or as ticking, clicking, roaring, “crickets” or “tree frogs” or “locusts,” tunes, songs, beeping, or even a pure steady tone like heard in a hearing test. It has also been described as a “wooshing” sound, as of wind or waves. Tinnitus can be intermittent or it can be continuous in which case it can be the cause of great distress. In some individuals, the intensity of tinnitus can be changed by shoulder, head, tongue, jaw, or eye movements.”

A veritable concert for one. Further reading includes a plethora of treatments, from common sense; ( ear-cleaning ), to drastic (surgery), and a list of well-known tinnitus sufferers (Gary Glitter !). thanks Wikipedia.

I’ve been making recordings of vibrating metal (playing second-hand pot lids by rubbing a thick wooden dowel around their rims, then piling these up on a multi-track recorder) and the interaction of these metal ringings with my tinnitus is also quite interesting, albeit exhausting at times. Interesting to note how my attention moves around, from my physical actions to the sound that they’re making to some random thought that mind is pondering to the presence of tinnitus. I find it strange that I have not been able to find a pitch that will mimic the presence, as if it exists somewhere between “notes” or is some other kind of phenomena entirely. Not really a pitch at all, but my cochlea nucleus overcompensating for some damage and actually allowing me to hear my own nervous system. Constantly.

So what to do about it. well, barring medical examination (too costly and probably inconclusive) I’ve opted for self-treatment. The “natural” food store where I work sells a homeopathic remedy, which I’ve tried with some success. It is expensive however and would be another bottle of pills that I have to monitor. I think I’ll try cleaning my ears again. right now.